Why Janis Joplin hates GPS
I still glance down at the gps because I know the roads don't always say what they mean, meandering for miles when I'm just trying to get to the point.
Its not that I don't know where I'm going but Moreso that I don't really trust my car to slow at the appropriate exits, I know that She likes to cruise, what with being a Cutlass Cruiser and all, and I only know this because upon hitting the breaks everything in the car begins violently shaking like the engine might dance right out of Janis' chest.
I always take her to the breaking point and although she never calls it quits, it always feels like this time might really be it.
If she could, I think she'd run over the gps multiple times, and although that would cost me a lot of money, how could I blame a car after my own heart?
How could I punish my love for just being herself, not wanting to take orders from a monotonous robotic tone that carries small hints of arrogance with each knowing direction.
I know darling, you were created with rebellion!
It is so obviously manifested in your reverse direction back seat. I must say that as far as cars go, you are the most bold and most deserving of wood paneling.
I understand the oppression that you feel, Janis Joplin, you beautiful creature called station wagon, but this is our exit, so just take it slowwwww.
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