Day 4

This is not "I love you"
This is not "I miss you" or "where are you now" or "where have you been"

This is collecting my shit and storming out of the house, purposely leaving little reminders of me as I went, hoping to torture you with my absence.

This is Key kissing ignition and just as I am thinking that the sound of starter is something mechanic like my rigid body, I see you standing in the doorway, waiting to watch me shift to drive...

This is the reason I put it in park instead

And I stood in the street with my arms in the air displaying a concave chest for you.

This is me screaming "What am I supposed to do!?" with a choking sob and fleeting breath.

This is panic attack at the thought of a gut wrenching goodbye kiss.

This is going to be unbearable at times because this is what they will judge us for but this cannot be goodbye

This is not "I love you"
This is "as long as we are both living I will never be without you"

This is FUCK them
Because this is what they are whispering about

And this is where you can burn all the excuses you made up in your head

So we can make room for all the reasons that this is always.